Most of us like a drink at some point or another, I myself am an unashamed martyr to John Smith’s Extra Smooth, a tipple that I am sure is responsible for my 64 year old mindset, but nevertheless I’m quite open minded when it comes to other lagers, ciders and real ales, but never red wine good god, but we’ll get to that another time.
This is all just a shy way of warning you to expect some booze related articles in the future, as I may be downing the chocolate and horrible biscuits from time to time to explore an area of which I am incredibly inept in terms of tasting etiquette, but that’s okay because wouldn’t it be nice to hear a non-pretentious alcoholic taste test without use of the terms “nutty” “fruity” or “notes of…”? Plus I’ll have my usual brand history lessons because that’s obviously what you want me to write about, not a really bad experience with Tesco Value Bitter.
To settle us in, though, here are a few historic booze brands which are no longer with us in the UK for one reason or another, so sit back and prepare for the most nostalgic hangover of your life.
#1 Bulmer’s Pomagne
Beginning with a touch of faux-class,Pomagne originated in 1906 as “Cider De Luxe”, produced by Hereford heavyweights in all things cider, H.P. Bulmer, it was marketed as an upmarket “Champagne Cider” until an actual champagne maker took them to task over it. In all essence it was cider masquerading as a much more expensive beverage, despite it originally being produced with a similar method to sparkling wines until 1975 when Bulmers decided to cut the crap and produce it in a huge tank instead.
Pomagne disappeared at an unknown stage in the space and time continuum, but you can still buy aged bottles of it online for what are most probably ridiculous prices.
#2: Castlemaine XXXX
Now here’s an Australian import that Australians actually drank, XXXX lager originated in 1924 in Queensland and was brewed under license by InBev until 2009 when said licencing agreement expired and it was never to be seen again. Despite it being a pretty run of the mill lager at 3.7% abv (weaker than the Aussie brew), it’s perhaps best remembered for the many humorous advertisements that ran over the years, still quite funny to this day.
#3: White Lightning
You could write an entire dissertation on why White Lightning was the scourge of society, but alas I only have this paragraph to sum it all up. It was super strong and super cheap cider first produced in the 1990s by Inch’s of Devon, then switched hands to aforementioned Bulmers in 1995, then under the Scottish Courage portfolio in 2003.
After being bounced around different owner over its relatively short lifespan, some order would be restored when brewing giants Heineken would buy out Scottish Courage in 2009 and, in a rare show of common decency, decided to immediately give White Lightning a well deserved axing, by this point, the potency was at its very lowest (5.5%) which was pisswater compared to what it had started out at (8.4%).
Super Ciders still exist in the market today with brands such as Frosty Jacks and Diamond White, making the demise of White Lightning an important albeit fruitless victory for good taste.
#4: Tia Lusso
Bristol based Allied Domecq thought they were creating a young and trendy version of Baileys in 2002, with coffee and rum mix Tia Lusso, a spinoff of their already established Tia Maria brand of cream liqueurs. Despite being heavily advertised with an £11 million investment, it just didn’t work out as it people couldn’t see the fuss over the Luss, and it was gone by 2006 after new owners Pernod Ricard took over and decided to shed a Tia.
Remember having any of these? Know of other examples of discontinued drinks? I sure found it difficult to find any more, give us a comment if so, and I’m looking forward to delving into this wacky world on occasion, but don’t panic, I’ll still be a confectionery guy through and through, even if my blog name is a little misleading now… hmm.
SQ 2 